Once again I find myself at a loss for an intro. Uncommon bond doesn't lend itself to much (there is a book with the same name but I never read it). Besides, I'm trying to cram as much review time in as I can for the con I will visit on October 27th. Trying to struggle for an intro will consume more time than I'm willing to give for these reviews that already take so much of my time with little reward. So I'm going to forgo an intro and just jump into the review for our latest Starlight episode. Here we go with my SoC for Uncommon Bond.
*We open with Starlight at the train station anxiously awaiting the arrival of a certain orange coated, bearded stallion. An adorable little trot she has there!
*That's a good question. When DOES the noon train arrive? Perhaps, say... NOON?!!!
*Is that a question or a statement because you don't sound too sure.Sure
*A VERY adorable little trot!
*Excited, really? You hide it so well.
*Forever you say? So you two have been friends even before you existed?
*Judging by the title I'd say you are wrong on that front. Also, that guy just want to do his job, not get his ear talked off by a chattering hen mother.
*Vinyl is the perfect listener. You can tell her anything because with her headphones and music she can't hear you.Vinyl
*"Come to think of it..." All those were stuff you had in common when you were children?
*Wow, she could actually hear you over her music. You're voice must be real grating!
*Huh, must be noon.Must
*Obviously that is the train from the Crystal Kingdom or there is some kind of Crystal Con happening.
*Not there I bet.
*I guess now is the time for panic. Panic
*She almost lost her head over Sunburst, literally! Seriously that is dangerous. Most train doors have safety features that prevent premature shutting. I guess Equestria cares not for the safety of it's citizens.
* You're late!Late
*The ship is here!
*That is one heavy suitcase! It just broke off her magic hold!
*Maybe he just packs heavy.Pack
*Wow, how long was that Train Ride? To Russia?
*Hmm, perhaps him and Twilight might be a better ship.Twilight
*That green thing looks a bit like an off color Trixiecane.
*You know, old times are just that, old.
*Great, now Bender is going to explode! If you don't get that one, then you need to watch Futurama.Bender
*Shows what you know, don't it?!
*Geek central meets antique central!
*Ok, that habit of repeating him with a question needs to end.
*If you love being bored to death that is.
*Damn, it's like a male Rarity (another possible ship?)! If he isn't a heavy packer, then he may be moving in or at least staying indefinitely.Moving
*You're definition of cool could use some work.
*Not all surprises are good.Good
*Um, Sunburst? Ever seen Rain Man?
*Yeah, that one looks... while that one looks... THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!!!!
*Oh, like the ability to make somepony think they're interesting? That's some powerful magic!
*Hey, it's Twilight! His possible OTP!Otp
*Does somepony hear angels singing?
*It is crazy, that you think it's crazy.
*About a billion other ponies for a start.Billion
*Impressive! Though not as good as one made by the Magnificent Tiller!
*That was so fascinating she almost fell asleep!
*Yay! More boring crap!
*Ring around the rosy, pocked full of poesy!
*"When will this hell be over?"Over
*What a couple of dorks! At least Twilight makes it look adorable. He just looks goofy.
*I think she'd rather deal with Trixie right now.
*Popeye: How embarraskin!
*It's a nice little statue, but Twilight seems a bit too into it.
*Heads up Starlight, it's time for you to fake interest again.Fake
*A miss is as good as a mile.
*Who are you Foolin'.
*You don't have to like what your closest friend likes. My best friend Erik (RIP) loved gory torture horror movies, I've never cared for them.
*That's not a way to convince him you actually like this stuff. Convince
*It never ends, you will be here for all of eternity.
*Like Snoopy's house!
*Meanwhile, back at the castle...Castle
*Did they buy some stuff at random? Because they seem awfully surprised to see stuff they just purchased.
*Yes, just as interesting as it was back in the shop.
*Teacup, teacup, teacup!
*Congratulations Starlight, you completed the set!
*You just ruined the most fun she had all morning!
*Faceplant! It was unavoidable.
*Oh, ok. I get it now. Those are not the things they bought, they're the stuff he brought.Stuff
*Or any other ancient office equipment.
*Yeah, there will be some shipping here. Why not? He shares colors with Sunset and I'm sure there is shipping of her and Twilight.
*Pen pals actually write to each other? I thought they mailed each other pens?
*You're trying too hard Starlight. Though that is a cute nervous laugh!
*I take it back. THAT is trying too hard.
*Swing and a miss!Swing
*You don't know what it is yet you paid for it? Dumbass. Then again, how many Funko mystery minis did I buy?Paid
*That's what I said!Said
*That seems kind of... dumb! What if it's something's worth thousands of bits and it's sold for 10?
*Yeah, but treasure doesn't cost you money first.
*It's ok Starlight. I don't get it either.Either
*That is so... fascinating?
*Plight your separate plot?Plot
*Whatever you say hoss.Hoss
*You can see it's got her rapt attention.
*"To forget the last several hours."Forget
*Antique? Starlight hopes not.Anitque
*Dragons and Volcanoes? I love that game!
*Dragon Paint? Alllllllrigty then!!!
*I'd say it's probably the very same one you two used to play with.Very
*My guess on what it was called seems more likely than Dragon Paint.
*So he threw a temper tantrum. Such a sore loser.Temper
*So was the way you said it!
*So you are no longer a... horny teenager?
*Oh, Snake Eyes! You lose.
*Then why not call it Dragon Trap?
*She's going to blow!Blow
*Or go "plop".
*Is that all it does?
*Well that's different.
*Oh great she's snapped again and this time she's not just a unicorn!
*Somehow I imagine Twilight's orgasm being just like that.
*With that afterglow on her face.
*It's Twilight. Everything she does is adorable.
*Of course he is. Him and Twilight are hitting it off real well!Course
*Oh, no mention of playing your favorite childhood game with your childhood friend who was your sole reason for visiting? Do you realize how insensitive that is?!
*Mainly because nopony associates her with fun.Nopony
*Really? When the hell did this happen?!
*That's because most pony's aren't.... NEEEEEEERRRRRRRDS!!!!!!!
*Sorry Starlight, but you should expect that when you spent so much time away from him.
*Yeah, screw what Starlight would want to do.Screw
*Oh, so do you remember her existence!
*Well that was rude!Rude
*I see you set your alarm for annoying.
*He's obviously far sighted.
*I guess he's not used to waking up with a lovely female next to his bed. Of course neither am I so I can't judge.Bed
*Well, its morning somewhere.
*She's being quite adorable in this episode!
*Dude's got a one track mind. Track
*Oh, you liar!
*What an ass! Looks like he's rather spend time with Twilight than Starlight.
*Starlight ain't giving up that easy.
*So you will just have to sleep later.
*How could you say no to that face?
*You're... kidding right? Ponies don't normally wear clothes.
*You don't remember what you drank when you were a kid? I do and I'm 38!
*Assuming you haven't eaten an apple since you were a kid. See Starlight, this is what I meant about trying too hard.
*Did you get Apple Jack's permission to do that? It think not!
*It's the Pait And Growerful Triskie! I know a certain DA artist who is probably banging his head against something right now! He knows who I'm talking about.
*Hilarious! I realize the irony of me bringing up teacup earlier. A teacup has become to Trixie what a muffin is to Derpy.
*Gee, which is the most likely of those two choices?
*Sure! Who's going to be doing this?
*He knows nothing about Trixie does he?Nothing
*Who she actually shares more in common with despite objections from some in the fandom that they don't.
*Pyrotechnics are about the only thing she does flawlessly.
*The chained and struggling Trixie!!!!
*Typical Trixie! She could be a great comedic magician if she'd just lightened up a bit.
*I love you Trixie, but you are a ditz!
*She asked for assistance, not torture!
*"Behold, my two closest friends."
*Much more affective! Though not nearly as funny.
*If she says, "Ta-Da!", I'm going to bust a gut.
*Yeah, too bad you suck at magic. Use it to your advantage and become a comic magician!
*Another ship made possible by over analyzing fans! BTW, an adorable giggle she's got!
* He's got a Mega Man hoof!
*Wait a minute, that's a fake hoof!!! He's a phony! A big fat phony!
*She's a phony too! She's not impressed!
*Too bad that's not the New York Times
*Sorry Trixie, but your origami could use some work.
*Huh?! It's whole again!!!
*Trixie's also a phony!
*That card is a 3 of diamonds.Card
*Not even close!
*Yeah Starlight, that card trick was bad.
*Oh, that game is a scam!
*Fastest hooves in the west!
*Yeah, that's how they sucker somepony in. Makes you think it's on the up and up just top play with you.
*You're not supposed to do that!
*Because she doesn't know anything about him!
*Not going to even hide your contempt are you?
*Didn't Twilight cover that up? We don't want a repeat of last time do we?
*No, you REALLY shouldn't have!!!!
*Starlight, you've made a LOT of mistakes since you're reformation. This will make them all seem like petty crimes. DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!
*So you've got some sense after all.
*Sounds like a chisel. That can only mean one thing, Maud! The only Starlight friend we haven't seen yet.
*No, that one is in Manehattan.
*What did I say? Ah, smug mode!
*There's a Connection there!
*Somepony's in denial!
*Let me guess, he's tapping with her now.Tapping
*No, but he's quite curious.
*She is just not having a good time is she?
*Smart move guy, when Maud suggests something, it's best to accept it and not argue.Smart
*She's Tearing Down The Walls!
*It's pretty stone.
*What I just heard (and probably Starlight as well) was, "Blah blah blah blah blah!"
*Apparently he knows a lot about a lot of things.
*Chin up Starlight, do you really want to connect with him on this level?
*Look at them, they're both thrilled! Or maybe just him, she's not easy to read.
*Are you crazy? That stuff doesn't look like it's something you would want to eat!
*Is that even edible?!
*Oh, I guess if you're a dragon like Spike it is.
*What a strange pony.
*Off with his new friends.Friends
*Now, I may be jumping to conclusions because there is no evidence to back this up, but is something troubling you?
*Because he finds Starlight boring and uninteresting?Boring
*That's what she thought too, but he just seems indifferent to her. He's actually being a bit insensitive if you ask me.
*Foals yes. As adults things change. I doubt I could still be friends with my childhood friends that I haven't seen in 20+ years (sadly, more like 30+ years).
*A friend of your friends can still be your friend and friends with their friends also making them your friends and their friends can be friends... Don't ask me what I'm talking about, I have no clue. Move along!
*"Thanks Twilight, that's a great comfort."
*Yeah, you know, that thing you unicorns do?
*Eh, she's in the top 10.
*I think that went to the top of her head.
*Maybe because she doesn't care about that boring crap?That
*Let the original shipping of these two begin!Begin
*Some fun bedroom games to help the ship set sail!
*Oh, a spell, of course. I didn't really think they'd have sex on a kid's cartoon! Or did I?Spell
*That is quite The Spell!
*She's back to her adorable filly self!
*More like creepy and uncomfortable. However, if you want to say cool I guess it's all right.
*Girls are so pushy! A word that sounds similar to something that will get you slapped BTW.
*Something tells me this isn't having the desired effect.
*Such an adorable little filly!
*How about... adult?
*Great, now you're going to make her cry!
*See, here come the waterworks now! I'm even getting a little misty.
*Starlight screwed up again. Unintentionally of course.
*Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black! I've got news for you sister, you have NO room to be talking about overdoing it!
*Well of course! There's... and then there is... and you both...Of
*My point exactly!
*Trixie, you are a lot of things. Funny, adorable, annoying, entertaining, and other things. Impressive however, just isn't one of those things.Lot
*Not to mention magic tricks.
*Lets face it, some in the present too.
*I'm laughing my ass off at that!!!!!!!!!!! Air, air, air!!!!!! Pant, pant, pant!!!!
*That is true!
*Yeah, Trixie isn't... half as bad as she used to be!
*Everypony's a critic.
*If you're dorky and you know it clap your hooves!
*Oh, who's being a grumpy wumpy widdle unicorn?!Grumpy
*You may need a clean pair of those.
*It's hard to have anything in common with you Maud. Still love you though.
*You're a whole kind of different Maud.Kind
*Ha ha! That's funny Maud!
*A witch!!! Monty Python reference.
*Ok, I get that one! She really is a comedian!
*So is that a yes or a no?Or
*Oh, Dragon PIT! How come I heard Dragon Paint? Much better name! If this weren't stream of conscience, I would go back and change it to save face. But that's not how these reviews work. My idiocy stands!
*That is actually quite adorable! Especially Maud and Trixie!
*And it works great for strong soap and smoothing calluses.
*The one thing she's good at. She also looks so adorable with that smile on her face!
*Maybe not as a child, but it's more fun to be a set piece!
*I'll let Nelson take this one.
*Giggle giggle ha ha!
*Speaking of ships, there's one of the most famous ones in the fandom!
*The great and powerful porter!
*Hey look at that! Twilight and Trixie working together!
*Go ahead and join in! Don't need to be a stick in the... Maud!
*Trixie ain't letting you sit this one out.
*Another adorable moment!
*I will have a pre-parting shot after the bonus shots. I am showing the real parting shot now because I know it is going to be a main focus in the finale. That book, that barrel, and the antique shop it came from are all in the final scene in the comic that is supposed to set the stage for said finale.
Oh, I am so anticipating the finale! Too bad these take so long to make because it will take me a whole week to type the review for the finale. Meaning it will take a week to watch both parts. From the comic and that parting shot, my anxiety to find out what unfolds is palpable! However, lets focus on this episode. This was another cute, sweet episode! I can't say much more than that. I give this episode 4.3/5 or 9/10. As always what follows are the bonus shots coupled with a parting shot. As stated above, it isn't the actual parting shot but it's one in keeping with the lighthearted nature of the episode. See you motherbuckers (no Eye Roll, Nose Boop, or Derp, can you believe it?!!) next week for the Season 7 finale (and maybe even my last SoC, have to play it by ear)!
"With his knowledge and my magical prowess, our foals would be the most powerful ponies in all of Equestria!!!"
"What the hay is he doing with a Playmare magazine?!"
"I forgot my money, would you be a friend and tip him for me?"
"You can't tell the difference?! The color on this one here is bole while the other one is clearly coffee. Are you blind?!"
"This is boring how about the three of us have a little fun for all the shippers?"
"Oh yeah, great idea!!! I found a book recently that has a list of positions for threesomes I've been wanting to try!"
"Oh, that was just a dream."
"Um... I didn't say anything in my sleep... did I?"
"Too bad it was just a dream. It's back to boring city!"
"Did you hear her talking in her sleep about us in a threesome?" "Yeah, I'm saving that little tidbit for a little blackmail."
"Isn't the most exciting spoon you've ever seen?!!!!" "He's GOT to be messing with me."
"Actually, it's not a letter opener. It's a pre-historic Equestrian marital aid. Also known as a dildo. My friend Rarity is an expert on those things."
"But... it is a letter opener."
"Oh wait, that was the joke."
"Besides, Rarity is not the expert on those things. I am!"
"I love this barrel so much, I'm sleeping with it tonight!"
"Ha, he makes a much better ship with me than you!"
Great minds think the same.
"Actually, I'm ok with you two as a ship... as long as I get to watch!"
"So go on, lets see some hot love making right now!"
"This guy is a sad, perverted man."
"Metal is FOREVER!!!!"
"You are perverted and sad, but you are also silly!"
"Well it's was fun today, but girls aren't allowed in my room at night. Court order"
"Is that morning wood you're sporting or does the blanket naturally tent like that?!"
"Nothing to be ashamed of, you are more well endowed than most stallions."
"Oh my Celestia, is that THE Sunburst your are always talking about?!"
"You were right, he is well hung!"
"Normally when I'm chained up like this, it's in Starlight's bedroom and she knows the safe word to unlock me. However, I will attempt to escape from the chains unassisted!"
"When you have performed as often as I've had, you will occasionally lay one of these."
"These aren't even real marble, just cheap plastic."
"Why don't you and Sunburst just get married already. Waifu stealer!!!!!"
"I can't help it if all the stallions want to be shipped with me."
"Position number 8 is going to require some warming up first. You can cramp up something fierce if you don't stretch first!"
"Why don't you and Starlight ever hook it up? The fandom wants it badly!"
"Wait a minute, something just occured to me."
"You don't like mares do you?"
"Trixie, that is very rude of you to assume something like that! Ever thought that he may just be a loser who can't get it up?"
Presenting the comedy stylings of Maud Pie and Trixie Lulamoon!!!
"If only they were stallions, then we could have some REAL fun!"
I had some fun with those bonus shots and hope they provided some chuckles. If anyone is offended by them, well, they obviously have never read these before . Anyway, here is the more light hearted parting shot. See everypony next week for the last SoCs of the season (and possibly for the last time)!