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Born and raised in Texas since 1979. Cartoon enthusiast since childhood. Drawing fan since then too, though never learned any techniques, too interesting in drawing than learning how to. Wrestling fan since 1990. Heavy metal hard rock fan since 1991. Tried twice to learn guitar but gave up each time (I'm just too lazy and impatient to learn things like that -same problem I had with drawing). Bullied but survived middle school. Wrestled in High School. Signed up for the US Navy in senior year. Graduated in 1998. Went into the the Navy in 1999. Became a Christian while in the navy. Left navy in 2003. Went to community college in same year, graduated in 2005. Went to University Of North Texas, did one semester then dropped out. Best friend and brother by choice passed away in 2005. Became a fan of furry art in 2006, eventually being comfortable with the furry tag despite the negative stereotype from the yiff crowd. Went to automotive school in 2009. Failed in automotive career. Became a fan of MLP art in 2010 but refused to watch the show or accept the Brony tag. Went through various warehouse jobs until going into trucking school. Drove a truck for a while, but like the auto career, I screwed it up. Went into a depression and finally watched MLP. Fell in love with the show which helped me through those dark times. Now despite the negative stereotypes from the cloppers, I accept the Brony tag. Started my career at Amazon, hope things improve from there.
Used to have dreams of being a pro wrestler but genetics worked against me. Used to have dreams of singing in a metal band, but I barely have any social friends so have realized my dreams have to be set aside for reality. I still fantasize about how all those things could have happened, but not so much that I lose sight of reality. Once I can summon up the courage, I’ll start going to and singing at kareokee (sic) bars-don't like going to places like that by myself. Really don't know where I'm going and find it best to just concentrate on today. Praise God! Metal forever! Art forever!
Favorite visual artistGary SmithFavorite moviesLord Of The Rings, Star Wars TrilogyFavorite TV showsNight Court, Newsradio, Law & Order, MST3K, MLP FiM, Red Dwarf, many moreFavorite bands / musical artistsIron Maiden, Savatage, Judas Priest, Dio, Pretty Maids, Khymera, many moreFavorite booksThe Shannara Series, The Xanth Series, Sege A. Storms SeriesFavorite writersTerry Brooks
I know my watchers are few in numbers, but what the hay: I was watching Family Appriciation Day and remembered how adorable Bunny Bloom was and I collected some screenshots so I could draw one of them. Which should I draw? BTW, I will not be drawing Tiara
I have a con I want to see on the Sunday after the season finale which is when I usually put my reviews together. I was hoping that by the weekend before it, the season finale would leak so I could get the review ready to be put in journal form the day the episodes officially are released. Imagine my shock when I found out all four final episodes got leaked. Perfect opportunity to try and get them all done and ready beforehand (I will still put them in journal form and release them the week they debut). So I am typing this on October 12th but you are reading it now on the 15th.
When I first saw the name of the episode, it seemed strange. Then I realized it was a simple pun! If you've read my reviews you know I'm a pun factory so not noticing it should come as a surprise. It is a take on secrets and lies. I guess I can assume the episode will have secrets and... well, lies. With the pun it will also involve pies, which says to me Pinkie Pie will be in it. This will have to suffice for my intro as I can't think of anything cleaver enough. So without further ado, here is my SoC for Secrets And Pies!
*Sure enough, we open up on Sugar Cube Corner with Pinkie calling out ingredients.
*Ok, as cool as this over exaggeration is, this is a bit too much even for Pinkie's unconventional mind.
*WAYYYYY too much!
*Still cool though!
*Oh god, it's all over her! I... I think I'm going to be sick.
*Fire and eyes! Get it? Fire and ice?!
*Oh the humanity... and the carbs!!!!
*She's a monster! ....of Pinkie's imagination... and not an actual representation of Rainbow Dash.... and therefore doesn't exist... meaning I have no real outrage for this.
*That's a mild way to put it. I'd say Pinkie, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of! Try to keep your theories in the realm of possibilities you air headed sugar addicted junkie! Too harsh?
*Oh, a new technique (good thing, Pinkie wasn't going to fall for the "look over there" trick this time)! Cover her in pollen so her allergies kick causing her to sneeze in and then you can get rid of the pie that way.
*And now, the pie is gone.
*Now that is called being prepared!
*And now Tank is in for another trip to the vet!
*You've just been had Pinkie.
*I think that just might break Pinkie.
*You can never accuse Pinkie of giving up easy.
*Just Eat It!
*I'll say, just eat one pie and it can stop.
*Let's see you get your way out of this smeg head!
*That is the most adorable thing I've seen that ever made me want to throw up!
*She's doing you a favor. You can't smell that crap if you can't breathe.
*Yeah, nopony cares Fletcher Reede.
*That's not going to stop her.
*Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*This one I'm not going to debate, before the episode ends it's Eye Roll O'Clock motherbuckers!!!!!
What a cute and funny episode with some great psychotic Pinkie moments! It seemed like another entertaining Pinkie being Pinkie episode but they ended up throwing in some genuine feels. I was a bit annoyed at RDs deception even to the point that it was clearly breaking Pinkie. However, her heart was in the right place even though her brain may have been somewhere else. The revelation of why she was doing what she was doing genuinely brought a tear to my eye. Doing the reviews over a period of several days helped quite a bit and allowed me to be more focused on the review and I was able to come up with more material. Though funny enough, not more screenshots. My screenshot count is pretty average especially with all the bonus shots and screenshots used to capture animations. Anyway, this may not be my strongest SoC but I think I did a decent job. If some of the stuff seems odd, remember a lot of the reviewing was done around bedtime on worknights but I think most of it is coherent. Well, that raps it up for me and I will give this episode a 4/5 or a 8.8/10! Fun all around. Well motherbuckers, as always I end with bonus screenshots and the parting shot:
"I'm worried. With pie being the central theme of this episode, I just know this will be filled with perversions. This creep can't help himself."
"I'm going to bake these pies to DEATH!!!!"
"Check out this bird call Fluttershy taught me!!!"
"It's time to ship!!!!!!"
"You ready to eat my pie?!"
"With a little Spanish fly mixed in, she will be mine!"
"Guess it was a failed batch. Damny Rainbow's got a hot flank!"
"Uh oh, you've been spotted. Act fast!"
"Sooooo... Come around here often?"
"Forget it, I'll just kill you and dispose of the body. Nopony will ever know."
"That would never happen, you are sick!!!! Well, there was that ONE time... "
"Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight..." An American Tale reference, 80s kids will know it.
"Um, her eye is sticking out of her skull. That's not right!"
"Could you, um... put your eye back into it's socket, that's kind of gross."
"Don't talk to me about gross, I've heard about the Wonderbolt's pie orgies! Now I know where you got all them from."
"If I hear any shipping jokes involving me, you'll wake up with your kidneys missing."
"Sometimes you have be firm with them. Just like pets, perverts respond to sharp commands."
"I just realized, I left the oven on!"
"That one was totally random, and not funny in any way. Maybe the perverted comments are needed after all."
"The fandom needs to stop worrying about me. I don't need Big Mac. Actually with a special invention, I don't need ANY stallion!"
"You're right, the perversions ARE funnier!!!!"
"Yeah, they are a necessary evil. They're still pretty cringeworthy though."
"Objection! Objection! Objection!!!!!"
"I'm not constipated, I'm ANGRY!!!!!"
"Nopony makes a fool out of me, I am perfectly capable of it myself!!!"
Apple Jacks driver's licence is typical of so many. They really should let you have a do over.
"That IS an ugly driver's licence!"
"Join me my minions, and no pie will survive our wrath!!!!!"
"This would be 20% cooler if it weren't some figment of Pinkie's deranged imagination!"
"I'm going to make a very 'special' apple pie JUST for Rainbow Dash and MAKE her eat it!"
"There, that will make these apples EXTRA special!"
"Try another poop joke like that and you will be wearing this!"
"Poop jokes? I LOOOOOVE those!!!!!!!"
"He's a chicken I tell you, a giant chicken!!!!"
"It's rape time!!!!"
"You're supposedly a lesbian, I'm sure you can handle all those pies!"
"What? Was it something I said?"
"Don't you find me pretty anymore?!"
"I think I liked it better when she was angry at me."
Until next week motherbuckers, It's Parting Shot O'clock!!!!!
I'm going to be honest with you guys, I'm still on a high after seeing the movie. I don't see how any episode after that is going to compare but I will do my best to separate the two. As a matter of fact, I think the movie explains why some of the episodes this season have been "meh". They put more time and effort into making the best movie they could. So I can forgive the less than stellar episodes. Not saying, I think this week's episode is going to be such an episode or that my love of the movie is going to taint my review, but it may be possible so be forewarned. Again, not sure how to come up with an intro, so I will try this:
Once upon a Zeppelin Led
Music could be heard
Vocals that could raise the dead
Guitar styling that lead the herd
Created a stairway to Heaven
Gave a whole lotta love
Even wrote a song about a lemon
To the houses of holy above
Paige and Plant legends for all time
Influenced many bands to come
Grandfathers of metal, a favorite of mine
Though it's just noise for some
No more shall I ramble on before it gets too lame
It's like a black dog in my head
And now the song remains the same
Once upon a Zeppelin Led.
I think that ties in nicely with the episode title Once Upon A Zeppelin. Poetry isn't easy for me and that took a while which is the real reason I cut it short, but not bad I may say. Hope you enjoyed it as much as you will enjoy this week's SoC. Let's find out!
*Twilight filing paperwork in her castle (no not a euphemism for sitting on the potty).
*He is easy if that's all it takes to satisfy him.
*He likes tiny things I take it. Wonder if they make him feel big. Only Cadence knows for sure.
*What about Tiny Lister?
*Are you sure it isn't for Cadence or is Shining the only one with an immature side.
*The internet pisses me off. I'm trying to find the slang term of an animal sticking it's tongue out and I can't find a damn thing! Totally useless!!! Whatever that bucking term is, Flurry looks adorable doing it.
*With an adventurous side like that, makes you wonder if she's really Twilight's mother.
*Not quite sure what he said, but they seem excited.
*Look what you got yourself into. Maybe cutting the trip short would have been a better idea.
*Flurry making a tower of baby, like in the bible! Oh wait, that was Tower of Babel. Which incidentally, is the language spoken by babies! Oh wait, that's babble. Forget all that. Move along, nothing to see here!
*Uh, oh! I think she killed the white one.
*If that's what passes for entertainment for them, who are you to judge Cadence?
*Ok, so the white one is still Alive. I knew that, I was just joking... or was I?
*Not his fault if you're too stupid to read contracts.
*And thus he leaped to his death.
*Of course he had a parachute, I knew they wouldn't kill him off... or did I?
*As a certain mountain goat once said, Be Prepared!
*Sure, a cheap mock up is a perfect representation of a seldom seen phenomenon.
*Ok, I admit that's kind of cute.
*I wouldn't say amazing, but it is a nice gesture.
*Thanks for reminding him, I'm sure he appreciates that.
*You're not air huuuurk?
*Good thing he keeps it down, I'd hate to be a pony below the airship if he actually let loose.
*Cute family hug!
Well, what can I say? The episode was funny, sweet, and had some nice scenery. This was a good episode and wasn't tainted by the awesome movie like I thought it would. I really can't say much more about this episode, thoroughly enjoyable and made for a fun SoC. At least to make it, I never really know what most of you think about it. However, I hope you at least get some mild amusement from it. Though if the series goes on much longer, I don't know if I'll continue these reviews. They do take a lot of time. However, I haven't made any decision on that right now, I fully intend going through the rest of this season and I'll figure it out from there. I hear the episodes have leaked so I may be able to get through the season sooner than later. I hope to go to Nightmare Nights, a brony convention here in Dallas, TX for the Sunday leg of it which takes place the day after the last episode (s) of this season so the sooner I get my reviews done, the better. I've missed it several times and this year and would have probably tried to go to next year's, but this is sadly the last day. One of the artists I watch is going to be there so I want to at least meet somebrony (see what I did there) in the fandom in person before it's too late as I don't know of any other cons in this area other than that one. Anyways, back to the episode. I'm comfortable in giving this 4.5/5 or 9/10 as I feel it was a strong episode. As always here are the bonus screenshots (with some, IMO, hilariously perverted jokes) and a gorgeous parting shot:
"Does madam require another quill?"
"Sorry, couldn't hold that one in."
"Damn Spike is one sexy baby dragon!"
"When I get my husband alone, we will finally join the mile high club!"
"I wonder if mom will finally induct dad in the mile high club?"
"Sadly with Flurry, I know who WON'T be joining."
"Attention passengers, the mile high orgy has been rescheduled for tomorrow!!!!"
"Please tell me I didn't just hear that!"
"It's ok sweetie, mile high orgies are commonplace on airships."
"Too bad it was cancelled, I was really looking forward to it."
"I promise folks, this pervert won't do another mile high club joke. I have incriminating evidence against him. That's all I will say."
"Cadence, does this curise seem a bit... creepy to you?"
"I totally ship me with you!"
"Um, that's beyond disturbing and TOTALLY innapropriate."
"Look Cadence, we're on t-shirts!!!" "I know! We finally made the big time Twilight!!!!"
"Oh my Celestia, those shirts just talked!!!!!!"
"Would you like to swing on a star?! Carry moonbeams home in a jar! And be better off than you are! Or would you rather be a Princess! A princess is an Alicorn that..."
*whispers* "I LOVE YOU!!!!!" Shining Armor just saw all the clop pics of him and Twilight.
"She smells like she's in heat."
"Um, you know you said that out loud you creepy freak."
"I don't know what you are talking about. All I said was you tail smelled sweet. Like you use a great shampoo."
"Ha son! In your face!!!!"
"Did my baby just kill that white foal? He's not moving."
"I swear, I will turn this creep into a gelding if he doesn't cut this out."
"We'll just tell everypony it was an accident. Right sis in law?"
"Dammit, just like in the fandom, my baby is more popular than me."
"That was so orgasmic!"
"It was better than any sex I EVER had with your 'inadequate in bed' father!!!"
"That's a funny joke dear, I love when you play around like that!"
"Oh, how cute! He thought I was joking!"
"Don't look now, I think the little guy has a boner for you."
"The fact that I can resist sticking this someplace uncomfortable in him should make me a saint."
"Everypony knows Chrysilis is the real one who impregnated Cadence!!!"
"I mean look how powerful that baby is, it's not natural!!!!"
"Poor girl, she really screwed this one up."
"I told you that Chrysalis thing in private. I love you but you will pay for that eventually."
"Are you saying you are attracted to me. Because that's what I'm going to read into it."
"I want to personally apologize for this pervert's crazy, sick, dark, completely inappropriate potty humor. Sure it's funny... VERY funny. However, there is no excuse for it in a review for a kid's show. Thank you and goodnight."
Twilight's comments do not reflect the comments by this reviewer though I do think there were some pretty funny ones. I do it all in fun and with no malice intended. If you don't like them, get a sense of humor! Here is a very lovely parting shot, catch you all later!
Don't know how to do an intro for the episode yet again. Mainly because it's a pun on a TV show I never watched. So how about I find MLP puns to fit TV shows (and movies because I will have a hard time finding enough TV shows):
Only Foals And Horses: Only Fools And Horses (Britcom)
Buck My Dad Says: &%@* My Dad Says
Sleepless In The Saddle: Sleepless In Seattle
Only Foals Rush In: Only Fools Rush In
The Gait: The Gate
Runaway Bridle: Runaway Bride
Night Cart: Night Court
Children Of The Dam: Children Of The Damned
Some Like It Trot: Some Like It Hot
Sire Sire: Liar Liar
Ok, with that out of the way I'm about ready for the new episode which I understand is a CMC episode. As a CMC fan their episodes usually are good ones to me so it will be interesting to see how well this one works. So let's just jump into my SoC of Marks And Relaxation!
*We open up with some cute little filly trying to smoke a cigar it seems.
*Oh, ok, she's painting! Of course she is, I was just joking... or was I?
*And she wasn't hungry, that is her Still Life model.
*Wow! It's subtle in it's simplicity. The broad brush strokes and the bold color catch the eye. It's abstract appearance so different from it's source material speaks volumes. The unconnected circle speaks of the fabric of our lives where the journey seems to circle back around but never touching the past. She must be an abstract artist of impeccable genius! Or just a dumb kid who has no idea how to draw so she just splattered some paint on there so it wouldn't just be blank.
*They are speechless, wonder if they saw the genius in that piece?
*Extenuate the positive even if it's absolute crap. Best way to spare the poor girl's feelings.