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DallasBlack
Michel Newcomb
United States
Born and raised in Texas since 1979. Cartoon enthusiast since childhood. Drawing fan since then too, though never learned any techniques, too interesting in drawing than learning how to. Wrestling fan since 1990. Heavy metal hard rock fan since 1991. Tried twice to learn guitar but gave up each time (I'm just too lazy and impatient to learn things like that -same problem I had with drawing). Bullied but survived middle school. Wrestled in High School. Signed up for the US Navy in senior year. Graduated in 1998. Went into the the Navy in 1999. Became a Christian while in the navy. Left navy in 2003. Went to community college in same year, graduated in 2005. Went to University Of North Texas, did one semester then dropped out. Best friend and brother by choice passed away in 2005. Became a fan of furry art in 2006, eventually being comfortable with the furry tag despite the negative stereotype from the yiff crowd. Went to automotive school in 2009. Failed in automotive career. Became a fan of MLP art in 2010 but refused to watch the show or accept the Brony tag. Went through various warehouse jobs until going into trucking school. Drove a truck for a while, but like the auto career, I screwed it up. Went into a depression and finally watched MLP. Fell in love with the show which helped me through those dark times. Now despite the negative stereotypes from the cloppers, I accept the Brony tag. Started my career at Amazon, hope things improve from there.

Used to have dreams of being a pro wrestler but genetics worked against me. Used to have dreams of singing in a metal band, but I barely have any social friends so have realized my dreams have to be set aside for reality. I still fantasize about how all those things could have happened, but not so much that I lose sight of reality. Once I can summon up the courage, I’ll start going to and singing at kareokee (sic) bars-don't like going to places like that by myself. Really don't know where I'm going and find it best to just concentrate on today. Praise God! Metal forever! Art forever!
Interests

I know my watchers are few in numbers, but what the hay: I was watching Family Appriciation Day and remembered how adorable Bunny Bloom was and I collected some screenshots so I could draw one of them. Which should I draw? BTW, I will not be drawing Tiara 

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Activity


SoC: Fame And Misfortune

Sun Aug 13, 2017, 2:23 PM

This intro is going to be non-comical that way I can tie it into the title of the new episode.

If anyone reading this listens to classical rock or is my age or older and heard it on the radio or saw the music video on MTV (no, not MTV2, back when regular MTV actually had music videos) has heard this song:

 


 

That was from an album with the same title. However, the original title was Uncle Tom's Cabin, named after this video:

 


 

As you can tell that song is a lot more serious and nowhere near as cheesy. That's because Warrant was never as cheesy as most of their hair and make-up cohorts back in the day. Jani Lane, the vocalist and main songwriter (though not a founding member), wanted the band to be seen as serious rockers (as serious as a band with pooffy hair sprayed hair, make-up, and spandex could be). However, the label wanted the title track to be an "anthem" track. Basically a simple sing-a-long song that could easily be a radio hit. Jani wrote Cherry Pie in fifteen minutes on the back of a pizza box and under protest made it the first single and title of the album. It did the trick, the album became a multi-platinum selling hit. However, the song was too cheesy to survive for long and became a joke in the music world and Warrant became mostly associated with it. I personally believe that a lot more people would like them if they looked past Cherry Pie and delved into their other music. However, that's not how it works with popular music. Warrant would later create more raw, less polished music and shed the hair spray and spandex however the specter of Cherry Pie followed. This would drive Jani Lane to depression and heavy drug use which eventually led to his death. Despite the fame he gained from that song, it brought him just as much misfortune. So, to you millennials who post everything about yourself on Facebook in hopes to become famous, remember fame and misfortune go hand in hand. For this episode I take it one of our girls finds both. Interesting to find out whom. Also interesting is seeing how I do with getting this review done. I did my review of the last two episodes before the break. Since then we've got ourselves a kitten (in my avatar) and he is very playful (he's a Bengal cat, closest you can get to a wildcat-that and Savannas) and doesn't like to be ignored. So I have a feeling he won't make it easy for me to get this done. First, I noticed a lot more views of my recent journals than normal so I assume I have some new eyes on these reviews. If you don't know, SoC stands for Stream Of Conscience which is a style of writing that involves you not knowing what you are going to write about and just go at it. In the same way, I do this review without any knowledge of the episode I'm reviewing. That's why I can't do episodes from before I started them because it is no longer SoC. So with that out of the way, lets dive into my SoC of Fame and Misfortune:

 

*We open up with a Ponyville scene featuring that old bat from two episodes ago and the always adorkable Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Ponyville

*She's like, "Please tell me that's ice cream."

Ponyville by DallasBlack

*Yikes! That is quite the mismatched mane and tail. Almost like a child colored that pony.

Mismatched by DallasBlack

*Two fillies fighting each other with weapons or bare hooves is one thing, but you DO NOT waste perfectly good ice cream like that!!!!!!

Fight by DallasBlack

*That was close! You could have really gotten hur... um... sticky.

Close

*Now that's what I call service!

Service

*When life gives you ice cream...

Life by DallasBlack

* ...gobble it up!

Gobble

*Tula Rula?! What kind of stupid name is that? **post review edit: found out that was a G3 pony which explains everything** Eh, I guess it's not as bad as her tail/mane combination. Coconut Cream however, is cool pony name.

Tula by DallasBlack

*They're ruining perfectly good ice cream that's what they're doing!


*Semantics: six of one, one half dozen of the other.

Symantics by DallasBlack

*Don't even think about it you mismatched little cretin!

Think by DallasBlack

*Now you did it, Pinkaminia is going to take you for a ride!

It by DallasBlack

 

*You have no choice Twilight, a blatant disregard for the sanctity of sweets calls for the death penalty or a lifetime imprisonment in Tartarus.

Choice by DallasBlack

*You couldn't do that when you saw Tula get ready to toss that cupcake?

Saw by DallasBlack

*So we don't even get to find out what the argument was about, how you solved it, or how they're still alive after wasting so much confectionery? Talk about lazy writing!

How

*Just what I like to see, two young girls hugging each other! Ok that makes me sound like a sick pedophile forget I said it.

Two by DallasBlack

*Of course it does, it was a friendship lesson form a previous episode. Face it Twilight, you're in a rut.

Course by DallasBlack

*Now we cut to the excuse for a quick toy sell, the Castle of Friendship.

Toy

*Making a mess with her books again. Would she do that as often if she didn't have an indentured slave like Spike to clean it up?

Books

*Ah, the friendship journal! It's been a while since we've seen it (season 4 finale to be exact).

Diary by DallasBlack

*I'm sure she has no clue what you're talking about.

About

*Didn't you hear me earlier, I said it's the friendship journal! Oh wait, the characters can't read what I say about them.

Here by DallasBlack

*Are you now the princess of old clichés?

Cliche by DallasBlack

*Did you really need to use that one? Just because Starlight never heard it doesn't mean those of us in the audience didn't.

One

* Oh come on, that thing is nowhere near that old! BTW, don't look now Twilight but one of those pages just disintegrated.

Old by DallasBlack

*I told you not to look!

Look by DallasBlack

*We may never get evil Starlight again, but at least we can get some moments of her being smug.

Smug by DallasBlack

*Some funny expressions on Twilight there! Funny sound too!

Expressions by DallasBlack Expressions2 by DallasBlack Expressions3 by DallasBlack

*The mares of the round table have gathered!

Round

*Not necessary to prepare yourself Fluttershy my dear, a virgin sacrifice will not be needed.... yet.

No by DallasBlack

*A dusty old book?

Dusty by DallasBlack

*It's quite a rarity (no pun intended Rarity), a book Twilight treats like crap even though it should mean more than any other book in her library.

Rarity by DallasBlack

*Perhaps Owlicious left a little present on it?

Present

*And Forever Is A Long Time!

Forever

 


*Well that is a contender for the understatement of the year! A book should age better than cheese left out of the fridge.

Understatement by DallasBlack

*Ewww, and you're touching it!!!

Touching by DallasBlack

*Spew!!!

Spew!!! by DallasBlack


 

*Didn't realize a friendship journal would have fine print in it.

Fine by DallasBlack

*Come on, nopony should write the way they sound!

Write by DallasBlack

*Ok, that makes more sense... in a Fluttershy kind of way.

Sense

*Ok, now that's kida creepy!

Creepy by DallasBlack

*Somepony from Saddle Arabia must have written that.

Arabia by DallasBlack

 

*Watch it be her hoofwriting.

Watch by DallasBlack

*Nope, I was wrong.

Wrong by DallasBlack

*Yeah, because that's more important than being able to actually read the words.

Read

*Hint Rainbow Dash, writing with a pen is easier if you don't press down so hard.

Pen by DallasBlack

*Then you have to learn it hard again. Losing track of how many times you've had to learn the same lesson a second time.

Again by DallasBlack

*Even without the process of elimination, we can tell who's entry that is... Spike's!

Spike's by DallasBlack

*Are you sure?

Sure by DallasBlack

*Now stop that! You're going to put the workers of publishing companies out of business!

Stop by DallasBlack

*Now why the hell is that copy spitting it's pages out?!

Hell

*Just take better care of them than Celestia's prize brown tonguer.

Care by DallasBlack

*No copy is ever perfect. Just ask Pinkie.

Perfect

*Go on...

Go On by DallasBlack

*What?!!!

What by DallasBlack

*Is the manifesto highly rated? I mean, what kind of... Marx does it get?

Marx

 

*Party canon. Yes, definitely a very important lesson there.

There

*I don't see a problem with her having a copy.

Problem by DallasBlack

*That on the other hoof could cause a problem. I can see where this is going. The published journal will cause both fame and misfortune (though why 6 mares who constantly save the day don't already have fame is quite the fandom mystery).

Hoof by DallasBlack

*Well if you think it's a great idea then... I still don't. Just because I adore her doesn't mean I will automatically be on her side.

Side by DallasBlack

*You're in Pinkie? What are you in?


 

*Well, sounds like the decision is unanimous.

 

*Except with Rainbow Dash dissenting... Wait, she's not dissenting, she's being her usual self absorbed self.

Not by DallasBlack

*Hey RD, get with the program!

Program by DallasBlack

*Now we are in Cloudsdale it seems.

Seems by DallasBlack

*Do they know each other? It seems that way.

Know by DallasBlack

*So just one copy per bookstore? You're not going to make a lot of bits that way. Also, I guess in Equestria if you make a book it's automatically sold in stores. Nopony has figured out a way to make a living as a publisher?

Copy by DallasBlack

*That's a little better but you just gave one away for free. The kid runs a newspaper stand, I'm sure he could afford one.

Free by DallasBlack

*Either they're selling a lot of them or the copy spell is only temporary.

Spell by DallasBlack

*Let It Rain... books!
Let It Rain by DallasBlack


 

*Obviously they are selling.

Selling by DallasBlack

*Must be an autograph signing. Good plan, little tykes' parents will pay good money for that.

Plan by DallasBlack

*Hey, Dinky is back in the present! Or the immortal midget pony is still playing us for the fools.

Dinky by DallasBlack

*Looks like a job for... mind your own damn business Princess!

Job by DallasBlack

*These two again! Actually, this is good. Just shows that some problems aren't solved by platitudes.

These by DallasBlack

*So it's her fault you're a loser?

Loser by DallasBlack

 

*Of course not, busy bodies never can.

Busy by DallasBlack

*Of course it's selling well, it's a self help book! Those are big sellers. After all, nopony is going to read a book on how to fail.

Sell by DallasBlack

*Why do I have a feeling Twilight's not really helping these two? I think they're just sucking up to Royalty. Also, the other filly looks much cuter now that I'm not distracted by the mane/tail difference.

Royalty by DallasBlack

*Just had an epiphany! The self help book isn't going to help everypony and they will get mad at the Mane 6 because of this. We shall see if I am right (that could be the misfortune part of the title).

 

*And now the distraction is back.

Back by DallasBlack

*And you are now the Popular Equestrians! BTW, probably not the intended purpose of the book. Not like it's a pop album.

Equestrians by DallasBlack

 

*Forget the Crusaders, now you can be the Cutie Mark Entrepreneurs! Rake in those bits!

Forget by DallasBlack

*This has not made her very happy.

Happy

*Then why the hell did you sell them?! Should have just given them away. Not like you spend any money on production with that spell.

Given by DallasBlack

*With fame comes rabid fans, get used to it.

Rabid by DallasBlack

*She's a cutie!

Cutie by DallasBlack

*Well that was rude!

Rude

*Welcome to the big time kid!

Kid by DallasBlack

*Come on! Even comic book geeks read their comics at least once and manage to keep them mint.

Geeks

*What a NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nerd by DallasBlack

*Twilight is such an adorable eavesdropper!

Adorable by DallasBlack

*Don't let Rarity hear that! We don't need another mascara running oat vanilla swirl eating cryfest again!

Hear by DallasBlack

*I'm going to take a gamble and say yes and oh my Celestia, she's right there!

Gamble by DallasBlack

*Says Mr. Snort Snort Snort.

Snort

*Oh no, not the waterworks!!!! Also, I see that the book is not a hit with a certain critic (one and a half stars is not exactly glowing).

Waterworks by DallasBlack

*And here we go!

Go

*Yes, that was not pretty.

Pretty by DallasBlack

*Why are you two staring at each other? Why call out her name if you're not going to go after her?

Staring

*Those heartless stuck up twits are smiling after causing Rarity to burst into tears! To Tartarus with them!

Heartless

*Why?! What did SHE do wrong?! Oh wait, go after her in a caring matter. I've got to read her better.

Do by DallasBlack

*If by chat you mean turn them into slugs, go ahead!

Chat by DallasBlack

*I'm sorry she got her feelings hurt, but she really needs thicker skin. I've seen a thicker one on a bowl of pudding!

Skin by DallasBlack

*Spear! Spear! Gore! Gore!

Spear by DallasBlack


 

*Now kiss!

Kiss by DallasBlack

*Well at least Pinkie is happy about what's going on. Then again she'd be happy if a bird pooped on her shoulder so I guess that means nothing.

Happy About by DallasBlack

*We've got one!!! It's Nose Boop O'clock motherbuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!

Nose Boop by DallasBlack

*Like the old adage, everypony likes  a clown!

Clown by DallasBlack

*Laughing at her or laughing with her?

At

*Pinkie is so adorable when her ears go back like that!

Ears by DallasBlack

*That reminds me of a Monty Python sketch!
Monty by DallasBlack

Monty by DallasBlack


*No, but it's pretty scary the way they keep laughing.

Scary by DallasBlack

*Sorry Twilight, you're only funny when you're seriously wigging out. Though that expression and you're eyes moving back and forth was worth a guffaw or two.

Serious by DallasBlack Serious2 by DallasBlack

*Now THAT'S funny Twilight!

Funny by DallasBlack

*That a girl Pinkie. Just back off slowly.

Slowly by DallasBlack

*These are the same pony's you save all the time who walk by you without saying hi. No logic behind any of it.

Saved by DallasBlack

*Discord may be able to make chocolate rain, but Rainbow Dash make's paper Rain!

Rain by DallasBlack

 

*Of course, because what in the world could the Princess of FRIENDSHIP know about friendship. -eye roll-

Friendship by DallasBlack

*Just pawn them off on Twilight so you can go be lazy. Typical Rainbow Dash!

Pawn

*They're just skulls full of mush kids Twilight, no need to kill them. Flogging will do just fine.

Kids by DallasBlack

*You're not fans!!!! Scutealoo is the only true Rainbow Dash fan, you all are just posers!

Fans by DallasBlack

*Nice twy Wainbow Dash! Oh cwap, it's contwagious!

Twy by DallasBlack

*Don't be jelly, you have your own moronic fans!

Jelly by DallasBlack

*Seems you've got an angry mob and as we all know, The Mob Rules!

Mob by DallasBlack


 

*They're scaring Flutters, the monsters!!!!!!!

Flutters by DallasBlack

*You want to diet you fatass!

Diet by DallasBlack

*You're entitled to an asswopping fat gastly looking bitch! Seriously, lose the glasses and straighten out your mane. You'd still be ugly but at a more tolerable level

Entitled

*Addressing the fandom concerns I see.

Concerns by DallasBlack

*Because you're a loser nobody who never saved Equestria, reformed a long-time villain, or put up with a bratty rabbit's constant bullying!

Nobody by DallasBlack

*Think carefully before you answer that.

Answer by DallasBlack

*You wanted assertive? Be careful what you ask for.

Assertive by DallasBlack

*In yo face bitch! Yo ugly ass face!

Face by DallasBlack

*I know what to feel about you. You look like a pony version of Michael Moore who is a fat, repulsive piece of garbage.

Feel by DallasBlack

*Now we get back to Rarity. It seems like every episode where she gets her feelings hurt results is something different.... Let's see what fresh hell awaits!

Fresh

*That's a no then?

No Then by DallasBlack

*Do you REALLY want to know?

Really by DallasBlack

*She's really lost it this time! All the other times she misplaced it.

Lost It by DallasBlack


*Well that's a new type of Stress.

Stress by DallasBlack


 

*Good thing that was a dummy and not a living pony!

Dummy by DallasBlack

*They must be liberals, they always form angry mobs over the stupidest things.

Liberals by DallasBlack

*Why don't you go on and do that? I'm sure it will work. Roll-Eyes Smiley 

Do That by DallasBlack

*There's my second fav... crushing Twilight behind the door.

Second by DallasBlack

*Twilight has the funniest expressions this episode!

Funniest by DallasBlack Funniest2 by DallasBlack

*Likes you? You should see what the RariJack shippers have her doing to you!!! Or maybe you shouldn't.

RariJack by DallasBlack

*Don't think she's in the state of mind to do anything fancy.

Fancy by DallasBlack

*Being popular never brings you happiness... I keep telling myself.

Popular by DallasBlack

*Fake apple cutie marks, outlandish exaggerated country clothing? Yup, Sweet Apple Acres is now a cheap tourist attraction.

Fake by DallasBlack

*Tree huggers hugging the same tree with many available? Something going on I don't want to know about? Though that mare sleeping against another tree looks nice.

Huggers by DallasBlack

*You know Granny, you don't HAVE to serve them. Southern hospitality has to draw the line at overworking an elderly pony.

Serve by DallasBlack

*What'd you expect Granny? Good manners?

Expect by DallasBlack

*Come on Granny, draw the line.

Line by DallasBlack

*What the hay?! It's not apple cider season yet!

Season

*Just like Granny, you don't HAVE to serve them!

Just by DallasBlack

*You probably know as much as she does.

Much by DallasBlack

*Well, they can't only if you let them. Draw the line!

Let

*Um, they're not your family. And those are some disconcerting smiles on those young fillies.

Family by DallasBlack

*Well wish in one hoof and crap in the other... Actually, don't do that it's unsanitary.

Wish

*AWWWWW!!!!! Poor Twilight!

Poor by DallasBlack

*No, she's a girl.

Girl by DallasBlack

 


*No, worse.

Worse by DallasBlack

*Somepony pop that "down with Rarity" balloon!

Balloon

*Of course it's her fault. As neurotic as she is she couldn't blame anypony else. BTW Twilight, don't pull down on your ears like that, they may stay that way.

Fault by DallasBlack

*He he! He he! He he! She said hard on!

Hard On by DallasBlack


 

*Another Nose Boop O'clock motherbuckers!!!!!!!!

O'clock by DallasBlack

*Who could that be knocking at this hour?! Is Nose Boop O'clock no longer sacred!!!

Knock by DallasBlack

*Why, you've got an angry mob (and Rainbow Dash in disguise) at your door!

Angry by DallasBlack

*And Rarity and Pinkie in disguise too along with AJ and Fluttershy who apparently forgot theirs.

And by DallasBlack

*They finally found Sanctuary!

Sanctuary by DallasBlack

 


*The new MLP spinoff, I dream of Pinkie!

Mlp by DallasBlack

 


*Fake word aside, I doubt that very much.

Aside by DallasBlack

*Only if you're able to pee while standing without making a mess. For a mare that would be pretty awesome.

Standing by DallasBlack

*Right now, Rarity is a fashion don't.

Fashion by DallasBlack

*Well your emotions are ghastly!

Emotions by DallasBlack

*More like crap couture.

Crap

*Whatever you end up doing Flutters, Rarity will take some measurements and make an outfit for the occasion.

Measure by DallasBlack

*She is not amused, I think Rarity better watch it.

Amused by DallasBlack

*Yes Fluttershy, come to the dark side! Unleash your hate! Strike her down with your anger!

Dark Side by DallasBlack

*Force Of Habit you say? Song queue!

Habit


*Rock-a-bye-Rarity!

Rock by DallasBlack

*At least AJ finally can sleep.

Sleep by DallasBlack

*Or at the very least got a short nap.

Nap by DallasBlack

*Got an idea? Well be careful with it, it's in a strange place.

Idea by DallasBlack

*Well, at least wait for Starlight to try her idea out.

Wait

*The mane six are sicks of this!

Six by DallasBlack


*You know Twilight is serious, she's in wing boner mode!

Boner by DallasBlack

*Well this is sure to change their attitudes!

Change by DallasBlack

*She got all the mane ones covered! But not Spike! Where the hell is he?!!!!!! He's just as important as the rest.

Covered by DallasBlack Covered2 by DallasBlack Covered3 by DallasBlack Covered4 by DallasBlack Covered5 by DallasBlack

*Nope, didn't change a damn thing!

Nope by DallasBlack

*No, and Starlight used to feel the same way. Her former cult from the village of ______ also couldn't believe it.

Same Way

*And you'd all be living under the tyranny of Nightmare Moon you dipshit!

Dipshit by DallasBlack

*Yeah, you know you're a cartoon character right? Or at least Pinkie knows.

Yeah by DallasBlack

*Sometimes even twice!

Twice by DallasBlack

*I sometimes wonder that myself.

Myself by DallasBlack

*No she wasn't! You awe weally undewstating he chawachter! Oh cwap, I'm doing it again!

Wasn't by DallasBlack

*The brony fandom speaks!!!!! Lol  Yeah, most have gotten over it but remember how big a deal it was?

Speaks by DallasBlack

*There are some people that are that shy. Hell, I used to be one of them!

Shy

*There is just no way of knowing.

Way by DallasBlack

*Well that could have certainly gone better. Probably should have waited to see what Starlight figured out.

Better by DallasBlack

*About damn time you used your Magic! You are an alicorn you know!

Magic by DallasBlack


*Just what we needed, a song.

Song by DallasBlack

*Now that is just too damn adorably precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Precious by DallasBlack

*They are the... star of the show!

Star by DallasBlack


*Naw, more like an African elephant.

Naw by DallasBlack

*And that is another contestant for understatement of the year!

Contestant by DallasBlack

*AJ is best couch!

Aj by DallasBlack

*Groucho's Pinkie's therapist? Makes sense.

Groucho by DallasBlack

*Further proof she is the goddess of cute!

Goddess by DallasBlack

*They are in the Book Of Pony like I want to be in the Book Of Heavy Metal!

Book Of Pony by DallasBlack


*Not bad and certainly a step up from the song they sung at their retreat earlier (though a bit similar somehow). However, they've had much better songs in the past. Also, just like that other song, this will have no effect on the other ponies there.

Bad by DallasBlack

*Hilariously predictable!

Predictable by DallasBlack

*Tough room Twilight.

Tough by DallasBlack

*Back to the drawing board.

Board by DallasBlack

*Still can't get over that mane and tail difference. If it's not in the Sin Poll of pony-berserker.deviantart.com/ , then I will at least comment it in the comment section (where else?).

Difference by DallasBlack

*That's so sweet! Maybe I can get over her mane/tail difference.

Sweet by DallasBlack

*Too cute!

Cute by DallasBlack

*Nope, still can't get over it.

Over by DallasBlack

*Well that is until one or both of you die. Wow, that was morbid, I thought I was getting better.

Day by DallasBlack

*Well that was wrong, the pie is to go into some other pony's face. But that would be Flutters and with her new assertiveness, she might hurt Pinkie... no, not really.

Other by DallasBlack

*Another cute moment and best of all, it hides the Tail (Tale) That Wasn't Right

Tail by DallasBlack



*A day in Tartarus should do the trick.

Day by DallasBlack

*Eh, make that two days.

Two Days by DallasBlack

Well, that was different and quite entertaining with all the meta humor directed at the extremes of the fandom. Still not sure where Spike was, the fandom has been pretty vocal on his treatment too and they could have addressed that. I guess they decided to kill time and once again give Spike the shaft. Not the best episode but that's mainly because the last two were so strong. I was more worried about my review and for the first quarter of the episode I wasn't feeling it. Then it picked up and I think it is a strong one of mine. I give this a solid 3.8/5. As always here are my bonus screenshots and the parting shot:

Untitled0 by DallasBlack
"Shipping? But I'm just a filly!!!!"

Untitled1 by DallasBlack
"Nopony loves you because your name is stupid and your mane and tail don't match!"

Untitled2 by DallasBlack
"There's a clopping joke somewhere here and I hope this sicko doesn't come up with it."

Untitled3 by DallasBlack
Just a cute screenshot, I've got nothing.

Untitled4 by DallasBlack
"Why the hay does that little filly have two different mane and tail colors and why does the tail look like Starlight's?"

Untitled5 by DallasBlack
"I found your clopfiction about me. I had no ideas you felt that way. Do you want re-enact any of the scenes?"

Untitled6 by DallasBlack
"Only if you can get Trixie to join us."

Untitled7 by DallasBlack
"Those last two make me feel uncomfortable."

Untitled8 by DallasBlack
"What is this one about me you and Rarity wrestling in a pool of pudding in the middle of town square? You have some sick fantasies Twilight."

Untitled9 by DallasBlack
"See, it says right here, 'tub of pudding'!"

Untitled10 by DallasBlack
"Why is there one about me and Fluttershy? That's not a normal shipping?"

Untitled11 by DallasBlack
"Lets see these in film form!"

Untitled12 by DallasBlack
"Excuse me! That was a nasty one!"

Untitled13 by DallasBlack
"No, THAT was a nasty one! It's going to take a while to air that one out.

Untitled14 by DallasBlack
"Relax Twilight, I think this pervert is going to be done with these shipping jokes for a while."

Untitled15 by DallasBlack
"Will you sign our copy of your clopfics?!"

Untitled16 by DallasBlack
"You were saying Starlight..."

Untitled17 by DallasBlack
No caption, just an excuse to see that cute mare again.

Untitled18 by DallasBlack
"This is terrible! Our journal only got one and a half stars?!"

Untitled19 by DallasBlack
"Wait Rarity! You forgot to pay for your meal!"

Untitled20 by DallasBlack
They've turned into eyeball bracelets!

Untitled21 by DallasBlack
"I'm going to kiiiillllll you!!!!! With laughter!"

Untitled22 by DallasBlack
"I read that chapter about you and me in the shower!"

Untitled23-fuck you i'm funny by DallasBlack
"Fuck you, I'm funny!"

Untitled24 by DallasBlack
"I put a curse upon all of you and your family for generations!!!! Um, if that's all right with you."

Untitled25 by DallasBlack
"My Celestia, you are ugly!"

Untitled26 by DallasBlack
"If you think cupcakes was grousome, wait til you read DRESSES!!!!!"

Untitled27 by DallasBlack
If you sew less than 100 stitches a minute, all of Ponyville will be destroyed!

Untitled28 by DallasBlack
"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. Demille!"

Untitled29 by DallasBlack
"Pathetic, ain't it?"

Untitled31 by DallasBlack
"No more wire hangers!!!!"

Untitled32 by DallasBlack
"What? You're acting like I've never overreact to the smallest criticism before."

Untitled33 by DallasBlack
"Maybe I shouldn't leaver her alone like that."

Untitled34 by DallasBlack
"Don't snap and kill everypony, don't snap and kill everypony, don't snap..."

Untitled35 by DallasBlack
"I'm going to kill them all!!!!!!!!!!"

Untitled36 by DallasBlack
"We have an actual crisis out there and you're just staring sitting at the window feeling sorry for yourself?!"

Untitled37 by DallasBlack
"Ewwwww! Cloppers!!!!!"

Untitled38 by DallasBlack
"Mah hat can't fit over mah head!!!!"

Untitled39 by DallasBlack
"Ok, I'm stuck."

Untitled40 by DallasBlack
"It's worse than we thought, it's the brony fandom!!!!!!"

Untitled41 by DallasBlack
"We've read Cupcakes, Rainbow Falls, Cheerilee's Garden, Sweet Apple Massacre, Rainbow Factory, and others. You guy's are sick, SICK!!!!!!

Untitled42 by DallasBlack
"Lesbian time!!!!!"

Untitled43 by DallasBlack
"You heard the girls!"

Untitled44 by DallasBlack
"Orgy time!!!!!!"

Untitled45 by DallasBlack
"Like warm apple pie!"

As always, the parting shot:

Parting Shot by DallasBlack




  • Listening to: Various Songs
  • Reading: An Ordinator's Tail
  • Watching: Supernatural
  • Playing: Panda Pop
  • Eating: Applebees
  • Drinking: Sugar Free Sweet Tea

SoC: Perfect Pear

Sun Aug 6, 2017, 1:54 AM
So here we are, the episode we've all been waiting for. The one where we meet parents of the Apple Children. I knew before I even read the spoiler reviews that this would be a tear jerker of an episode and it certainly was. My eye allergies were triggered something fierce. I haven't shed tears like this for a cartoon episode since the CMC got their cutie marks. I won't go into one of my long drawn out intros as I was expecting to have another week before I had to put this out. With both episodes being aired at the same time I have to make them both tonight. I'll just say I was thrilled to hear William Shatner's voice in this. The fact that Captain Kirk is a brony just further legitimizes the fandom. When you can cite an plethera of well known bronies (Elija Wood, Dolph Ziggler, Chris Evans, Seth Green, Weird Al, etc.) I think it helps the negative image the fandom seems to portray. Without further ado, here we go with the SoC of Perfect Pear:

*Looks like we open up with Apple Bloom.

Bloom

*Yup, and she is in some kind of market.

Market

*The pear business seems to be booming!

Booming by DallasBlack

*If AJ heard you graciously accepted jam that isn't apple, you'd be in so much trouble!

Aj by DallasBlack

*Yeah, nopony cares.

Cares

 

*Barely understood that, is it Grant Pear or Grand Pear?

Grant Pear by DallasBlack

*Well how was she to know, she's just a kid!

Kid by DallasBlack

*Vanhoover? So is that like the Equestria Canada? Nice weather up there eh?

Vanhoover by DallasBlack

*To answer questions from nosy little children.

Children

*So why not someplace new?

New by DallasBlack

*You can't say that, it's not apple!

Apple by DallasBlack

*Because your Apple, not a PEAR!!!!!

Pear by DallasBlack

*Something awfully suspicious about that old guy. Not in a nefarious way, I doubt he's going to be the Season 7 villain.

 

*Watch out where you're throwing that Big Mac!

Watch by DallasBlack

*Good catch AJ!

Catch by DallasBlack

*Breakfast for dinner?! You rebel!!!

Rebel by DallasBlack

*Tell her, I want to see how badly she explodes!

Explode

*Here we go!

Go by DallasBlack

*It's the end, goodbye cruel world!!!

World by DallasBlack

*It's here, it's here!!! Nose Boop O'Clock motherbuckers!!!!!!

Nose Boop by DallasBlack

*Also, way to overreact there. I know it's not an apple but come on!

 

*Oh my Celestia, look out!!! ...Oh wait, it's just Granny.

Out by DallasBlack

*A bit extreme don't you think?

Extreme by DallasBlack

*We are just as confused as you are.

Confused

*That should be enough, you aren't Digging A Grave after all.

Dig by DallasBlack

 

*Exactly, it's not APPLE jam!

Jam

*Family Feud is that even still around?

Feuds by DallasBlack

 

*Again, she's just a kid. Don't get mad at her for something she didn't even know about.

Again by DallasBlack

*That's a stupid question! Tell her why AJ!

Question by DallasBlack

*Just as I thought! You have no bucking clue! Also, why aren't you still trying to hide it? Granny is slow, but not that slow.

Clue by DallasBlack Clue2 by DallasBlack

*On the top of my head I'm going to say he has no clue either. Both of you are clueless.

Head by DallasBlack

*I think that's the last thing they want you to do.

Last

*She heard you, now what do you do?

Do by DallasBlack

*I don't even think that's going to fool the senile old bat.

Bat by DallasBlack

*That's the best you could come up with?

Best by DallasBlack

*The syrup of course! Pralines would just be nuts!

Syrup by DallasBlack

 

*Say it, don't spray it!

It by DallasBlack

*Crazy old coot!

Coot

*Judging by the site of the outhouse, washing up means take the Browns to the Superbowl... Take the Hershey highway... File some paperwork... Go to the VatiCan to visit the Poop... You get my drift, but hopefully not hers, gross!

Outhouse by DallasBlack

*What if you want her to shut up? That'd be a great time to bring it up.

Shut Up by DallasBlack

*Or Grand Pear, I'm sure he'd share some of that knowledge with you.

Or by DallasBlack

*Isn't that a really, really, really... really, really, really long trip?

Trip

*That eyup translates into, "But first... we eat!"

Eat by DallasBlack

*Did we just forget all about the distance between Sweet Apple acres and there?

Distance by DallasBlack

*Oh yes, her cats. Wonder is she finally kicked the bucket and they're having a feast of her corpse? Damn that is sick and dark! I thought I was getting better.

Corpse by DallasBlack

*You need to get her on the show Hoarders, she could use the professional help.

Hoarders by DallasBlack

*Catball!

Ball by DallasBlack

*No, that's how you know you have a major problem.

No by DallasBlack

*Great camouflage that cat has!

Cat by DallasBlack

*Oh yeah, watch your tail there cat.

Tail by DallasBlack

*Why, she going to break your legs if she does?

Break

*You are the Queen (King) Of Wishful Thinking AB.

Wishing

 

*And it just happens to be the very first book you pick out. Right... Only in a cartoon.

First by DallasBlack

*Da Bears!

Da Bears!



*So what was the name of this farm?

Farm by DallasBlack

*I wonder if that's Mama?

Mama by DallasBlack

 

*Perhaps Papa?

Papa by DallasBlack

*Not only does she have Granny's coat, she also has her propensity to present raspberries. Also, what the hell is Dinky doing back there? That must mean she's actually an adult pretending to be a filly. Sounds like fodder for a grimdark fanfic if you ask me.

Granny by DallasBlack

*If I'm right about who they are, then I have a feeling she'll be polishing his apple in the future. Wow, I'm bad... no... I'm worse!

Polishing by DallasBlack

*Only the green ones, the dark green ones.

Green by DallasBlack

*She's going to need some Aloe for that burn!

Burn

*Listen to them, they're arguing like chipmunks!

Chipmonks by DallasBlack

*Way to drive your customers away!

Customers by DallasBlack

*The Mare In The Moon... Continuity!

Mare by DallasBlack

*Awww, how cute! But it's WRONG!!!!

Wrong by DallasBlack

 

*Oh, it is Granny. I was so wrong with that one. That's the thing with my SoCs, no gift of hindsight. She is quite an adorable one at this time!

Adorable by DallasBlack

*Somepony is Watching You!

You by DallasBlack

 

*Whatcha giving him that look for Granny. Maybe you really do want to polish his... stop that!

For by DallasBlack

*Well that's kind of stupid. Even moreso than talking to trees.

Stupid

*Which he is also doing!

Doing

*Hope he doesn't get splinters from that.

Splinters by DallasBlack

*Damn boy, why don't you just find a knothole and... stop that pervert!

Knothole by DallasBlack

*Granny was cute when she was angry.

Cute by DallasBlack

*Secretly you know both are tuned on right now.

Turned by DallasBlack

*Buck them trees, buck them good! Buck them like an Apple should!!!

Buck

*They're hatred runs deep.

Deep by DallasBlack Deep2 by DallasBlack

*Let's see if my guess is right: Mama and Papa!

Mama and Papa by DallasBlack

*Obviously the father of Big Mac (sharing a name).

Big Mac

*Pear Butter? I guess if there is Apple Butter there'd be that.

Pear Butter by DallasBlack

*So that's where AJ got her freckles from. It's fun to say that: freckles from, freckles from, freckles from... sorry got sidetracked.

Freckles by DallasBlack

*What the heck? If he can talk at that age, why can't the Cake's twins?!

Heck

*Also, their voices are awfully grown up sounding.

Voices by DallasBlack

*That's because she is a liar!

Liar by DallasBlack

*Ok, maybe she isn't.

Isn't by DallasBlack

*I think he's in love.

Love by DallasBlack

*They just met and he already has a pet name for her.

Pet Name by DallasBlack

*Until they get older, they're just friends so they shake on it. However, don't fret you two, True Love Awaits You

Shake by DallasBlack

 

*Yup, your mama and dada.

Yup

*Kind of gathered that.

Gathered by DallasBlack

*Go on, call her a liar. I DARE ya!

Go On by DallasBlack

*A pair of what?

Pair by DallasBlack

 

*The shock of the century, they aren't part of an inbred family!

Shock by DallasBlack

*You better Believe!

Believe by DallasBlack

 

*Perhaps you never asked?

Asked by DallasBlack

*I must be drunk, I'm seeing double. Oh wait, she just drew two jars.

Double by DallasBlack

*AJ and BM look so goofy there.

Goofy by DallasBlack

*You do realize that those cats are going to eat your face when you die right?

Face by DallasBlack

*The two cats on the end remind me of our cat (at the time I typed this we only had one cat-we now have another one who is a rambunctious little kitten and he also doesn't like to be held when he's in play mode-otherwise he is pretty affectionate). She hates to be held so either she's trying to escape (like the one on the right) or is not very happy (left).

Cats by DallasBlack

*Squeeze them any tighter and you're going to have cat butter.

Cat Butter by DallasBlack

*Eh, it can wait.

Wait by DallasBlack

*What is his talent, starting forest fires?

Talent

*Oh, firewood. What is wrong with me?!

 

*Now it's time for the big cat to pounce!

Pounce by DallasBlack

*Now we have a pony version of Sam Elliot.

Sam by DallasBlack

*We can see where Apple Bloom probably gets her hair from (though depending on how this plays out, I have a different thory).

Hair by DallasBlack

*That flank got his full attention.

Flank by DallasBlack

*Yup, that's you future husband.

Husband by DallasBlack

*If that's a hot day then you are about to get some relief.

Hot by DallasBlack

*At least you don't have to worry about watering the crops anytime soon.

Water by DallasBlack

*Yeah, better get the buck out of there before he gets to you.

There

*Awwww, it wasn't her fault!

Fault by DallasBlack

*Now I see where AJ gets her beauty from!

From by DallasBlack

*Look like he's going to man up! Or Stallion up... or something.

Man Up by DallasBlack

*Here comes your knight in shinning armor.

Armor by DallasBlack

*Look at Burnt Oak in the bush, hilarious!

Burnt Oak by DallasBlack

*Prepare to feel his wrath.

Wrath by DallasBlack

*Excuse you? Why, did you burp? Fart?

Burp

*She got a cute lil' giggle!

Giggle by DallasBlack

*Is that William Shatner? Wouldn't surprise me, I heard he is a brony.

Shatner by DallasBlack

*Oh cheer up, it'll work out in the end.

End by DallasBlack

*That' a girl!

Girl by DallasBlack

*Hearts coming out of his head, that must be where Big Mac got that condition from.

Condition

*Forget it, love is blind... and stupid.

Blind by DallasBlack

*Honesty is a learned condition, not a family trait.

Honesty by DallasBlack

*That's because late at night they also snuck away to the silo for a little bamp chicka bamp bamp!

Night by DallasBlack

*Aw, how sweet of Big Mac!

Aw

*I see tears in his eyes. Ironically through tears in my eyes. I knew I'd have an allergic reaction to this episode but not this early!

Tears by DallasBlack

*Yum, that sounds kind of good right now!

Good

*Yeah, in case Granny were to send Guido after you.

Guido by DallasBlack

*No, but not surprising because before they had no idea you even knew her.

No, by DallasBlack

*Yeah, but that's because she married Mr. Cake.

Cake by DallasBlack

*Chiffon Swirl? Chiffon the dress or the cake.. or the edible dress cake! :D

Chiffon Swirl

*I'm sure creative didn't mean butting a bottle, the shell, the bag, and the stem and seeds inside the actual food.

Creative by DallasBlack

*And your large flank! Though I'm sure having twins didn't help that.

Large by DallasBlack

*Happy like that, Mrs. Cake actually looks kinda cute.

Happy by DallasBlack

*Either my theory is wrong (I'll tell you it in my review outro one way or another) or AJ is just trying to convince AB.

Theory by DallasBlack

*Nope, the chubbiness came before the babies.

Nope by DallasBlack

*Well, spit it out! Not literally, swallow then give your opinion.

Spit by DallasBlack

*I think that means she likes it.

Likes by DallasBlack

*They look like they're angry.

Angry by DallasBlack

*It's a pear massacre!

Massacre by DallasBlack

*Looks too good to eat... he he he...  ha ha ha ha!!! Right!

Too by DallasBlack

*Ok, that's got my curiosity going.

Curiosity

*Oh, a picnic! I thought they were... forget it.

Picnic

*Nothing says loving like blowing snot on your lover!

Snot by DallasBlack

*I hope only the flowers got on her.

Flowers by DallasBlack

*She just laughs it off. If that snot love I don't know what is.

Snot Love by DallasBlack

 

*Does that mean she got something in her eye? Hope it was just a flower pedal... gross!

Eye by DallasBlack

*Slip her the tongue!!!

Slip by DallasBlack

*Opps! Just make chittering noises. Maybe they'll think your a squirrel.

Squirrel

*Fine, don't take my advice then!

Advice by DallasBlack

*They though it was their parents.

Parents by DallasBlack

*It'd be more of a thank you if you had just let them kiss.

Kiss

*They WOULD have been busy if you hadn't interrupted. But if you had then AJ or Big Mac (not sure which) would be several years older.

Busy by DallasBlack

*Either they're blushing or they were exposed to poison ivy.

Ivy by DallasBlack

*Only for a couple of bits... nah, she wouldn't charge you.

Bits by DallasBlack

*Uh oh... Spaghettios... I mean Granny Smith. Sorry, I'm a  child of the 80s.

Uh Oh

*She's not that old yet, but she's starting to lose her looks, but not her teeth... yet.

Old by DallasBlack

*Busted!

Busted by DallasBlack

*I love when they make actual horse sounds!

Sounds by DallasBlack

*Somepony should have given her advice on not frowning. Could have reduced some of her current wrinkles.

Frown

*Her voice is certainly old at this point.

Voice

*Granny don't you be such a bitch, can't you see that innocent little waif is harmless?

Bitch by DallasBlack

*Poetic justice, now if she were to do that, her teeth would fall out.

Justice by DallasBlack

*Changes nothing Granny.

Nothing by DallasBlack

*He is lucky, she is such a sweetheart!

Lucky by DallasBlack

*Just another Romeo and Juliet.

Romeo Juliet by DallasBlack

 

*Yeah, she's got it bad.

Bad by DallasBlack

*Remember what I said about love.

Remember by DallasBlack

*Their love is a beautiful one, just like that sunset.

Sunset by DallasBlack

*Sharing a special moment together.

Moment by DallasBlack

*That's a lot of hours to count!

Hours by DallasBlack

*She is a vision of beauty, just like her future daughter (when she fancies up). Nothing makes a pretty girl prettier than a flower in her hair.

Beauty by DallasBlack Beauty2 by DallasBlack

*Ya cheeky devil!

Cheeky by DallasBlack

*Now he can serenade her... if he can play that is.

Sernade by DallasBlack

*She gonna play! Do Feebird!!!!

Gonna by DallasBlack

*I think it's going to be a song as beautiful as her.

Song by DallasBlack

*That bird is going to put pigeons out of business!

Pigions by DallasBlack

*Perfect pair... I see what you did there!

See by DallasBlack

*Something so pretty shouldn't be so sad.

Sad by DallasBlack

*Don't drink it that fast, you'll get indigestion!

Indigestion by DallasBlack

*Another one, Nose Boop O'Clock Motherbuckers!!!

Another by DallasBlack

*Long distance dancing never works.

Long

*We definitely see where AJ gets her beautiful singing voice from!

Her by DallasBlack

*This love is sweet but also depressing for a lonely guy like me.

Depressing by DallasBlack Depressing2 by DallasBlack Depressing3 by DallasBlack Depressing4 by DallasBlack

*Find a dry place and start working on your family!

Dry by DallasBlack

*Cute pair.. cute pear... get it!

Cute Pair by DallasBlack

 

*Granny Smith is being a something that rhymes with stock bocker.

Rhymes

*She said the 'L' word! Can't take it back sweetheart!

L by DallasBlack

*Now she looks like a country singer!

Country by DallasBlack Country2 by DallasBlack

*That's as sweet as a pear and an apple (some of them) can be!

Sweet by DallasBlack

*Putting words into her mouth I see.. not that that's the only thing you'll ever put... dammit pervert, stop it!

Words by DallasBlack

*If only they could stay In This Moment forever, but something will happen.

This Moment by DallasBlack


 

*Like the space time continuum being ripped in half.

Ripped by DallasBlack

*I'm still thinking that's Shatner.

Still

*Ok, that's more likely than the space time continuum thing.

Likely by DallasBlack

*Don't worry, things have a way of working out (which we know they do).

Things by DallasBlack

*Gasp!

Gasp by DallasBlack

 

*That's the twist, you three have never been born. Just figments of Granny's imagination.

Born by DallasBlack

*I could replay it, but I'm sure that's what he said.

Replay by DallasBlack

*The bloody well is Shatner, Captain Kirk himself!

Captain Kirk

*Now the tears start to fall.

Fall by DallasBlack

*She eloped?

Eloped

*Well, I have an idea, you could get pregnant. Hey I didn't say it was a good idea.

Pregnant by DallasBlack

*They've known these ponies for years and they're just now knowing they knew their parents? They could have told them!

Now

*I guess she had the ability to marry them.

Marry by DallasBlack

*Nailed it! I'm good at predicting things on this show!

Nailed by DallasBlack

*I guess you could say she's a... blushing bride?

Blushing by DallasBlack

 


*Ponyville elects the smart ones.

Smart by DallasBlack

*Exchanging sees instead of rings? Seems fitting in this case (especially since ponies don't have fingers).

Seeds by DallasBlack

*Candles are romantic old bat.

Candles by DallasBlack

*I thought it was obvious to any pony with a brain cell that they're getting married.

Married by DallasBlack

*And love conquers all!

All by DallasBlack

*THEY SAID THEY WERE IN LOVE!!!! Boy do I use that joke a lot on this show?

They Said by DallasBlack

*Take that! Now it's death until they part!

Part by DallasBlack

*Wait until the Honeymoon, then it will REALLY feel nice!

Honeymoon by DallasBlack

*Finally, they get to kiss!

Finally by DallasBlack


*That's tellin' him!

Tellin' by DallasBlack

*She is choosing to be a pear only it's spelled pair. Yeah, I know, bad pun.

Bad Pun by DallasBlack

*That's a horrible thing to do to her.

Horrible by DallasBlack

*I'm disappointed in you Shatner! A pock on your toupee!!!

I'm by DallasBlack

*That was a very hard thing to do I'm sure.

Hard by DallasBlack

*Great, Niagara Falls! I'm not crying, they are. I just have... allergies.

Niagra Falls by DallasBlack Niagra Falls2 by DallasBlack

*AWWWWW!!!!!

Awwwww!!!!! by DallasBlack

*What a tender moment!

Tender Moment by DallasBlack

*Oh, I get it! Grand Pear Pear, just like Grand Pa Pa.

Grand Pear Pear by DallasBlack

*The cat is out of the bag! Followed you back from your earlier trip.

Bag by DallasBlack

 

*No, he's front!

Front by DallasBlack

 

*Look at that, the seeds they planted made a heart shaped tree out of a pear and apple tree! I haven't teared up this much from a MLP episode since the CMC got their cutie mark! Damn allgeries!!!!

Planted by DallasBlack

*Nothing is impossible without love!

Impossible by DallasBlack

This episode for me is all that it promised to be. It was obvious they put a lot of effort in making this episode as good and as emotional as possible for a 20 minute kid's cartoon. Like Crusaders Of The Lost Mark, this episode made me lose my share of water from my eyes and if I were to rank this episode on a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 20, one of the best episodes of this show's run thus far. The highlight for me was Pear/Apple Butter, probably one of the loveliest and most enchanting mares the show has ever introduced to us, I certainly see what Bright Mac saw in her. As for him, he certainly deserved to get the girl and was a well fleshed out male character (which is too rare IMO for a cartoon that prides itself on being all encompassing-minor complaint, believe me). They will certainly be hard pressed to top this episode for sure. I forgot, I was going to mention my theory of Apple Bloom. With all the crazy fan theories out there, I figured it was my obligation as the oddball I am to come up with my own. My theory is that Apple Bloom is actually AJ's daughter. She got knocked up as a teen and instead of hurting her future taking care of a child, her parents raised her and told AB that AJ is her older sister. At first I thought that with their dad having the same red hair threw that out, I realize that hair color can be recessive and pass a generation. The science of hair color genetics is still mostly a mystery and it is very possible. I have even thought of making a fanfic based on this but I doubt it will see the light of day. So that is my wacky fan theory. With that out of the way, I will now just move on to the bonus screenshots and a very lovely parting shot:

Untitled0 by DallasBlack
"Please don't be offended if I barf this up right here and now."