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CartoonMetalWarrior

Formerly Dallas Black
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Not Dead Yet

3 min read

I have not abandoned my fanfic I swear! I have had my prelude ready for months now, but my editor has been busy with real life and has yet have time to finish editing it. I have no ill will toward him, he is a friend but he has a real life and a family to focus on and any help he can offer can wait. However, I'm getting a bit anxious and if he hasn't found the time in about a month, I will post the prelude and begin working on the rest. Later when he has time to offer advice on how to improve, I will update any deviations I have posted by then.


It is however good that he hasn't had the time to offer his services as of late as I've been real busy with my job and on my days off, I'm too exhausted to do anything productive (4/10+ hour days in 100+ degree weather doesn't help matters). I also have some depression from the monotony of my life and my lack of anything resembling a social life. While I watch a lot of artists, I can go several weeks without going through my art stacks because I lack the motivation to do so. Partially because it rarely seems like any comments I offer are either not seen or ignored. It could be due to my odd gimmick which I even admit gets old. It's hard to come up with witty comments using mock Shakespearean language. It probably also has to do with some artists not ever responding to comments or having too many comments to keep up with but with the new ability to favorite comments, the least some of them could do is give comments a fav. However, I still maintain that nobody has any obligation to respond to or acknowledge comments. They offer me free art without any obligation to pay them back. However, it seems a waste of time to put effort into comments that go nowhere so my output has been less and less as of late. Anyway, enough of my bitchin'. I still appreciate their hard work and sharing of their talents.


If my workload can lighten up a bit and once the weather cools down around October, I will be more productive and in a better mood. Or if I win the lottery. However if that happens, I may be too busy creating helmets to protect us from flying pigs and breeding unicorns. My MLP fanfic is not dead and will not die. I look forward to posting it when I'm ready!


Watching: Red Dwarf

Eating: Crow

Drinking: Long Island Iced Tea

Reading: MLP comics

Mood: Buzzed (see drinking)

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"The devil's music," that is what rock was called by older people back in the day. This ties in with racist attitudes of the time. Rock and roll was heavily influenced by jazz and blues which was influenced by African slave songs and traditional African music. It was believed that the eerie sounds and tribal beats caused people to become depraved sex maniacs. This wasn't helped by the swaying hips of Elvis. Eventually bands embraced this stereotype with devilish imagery and out right sexual innuendos. In the late 60s some evangelical Christians who knew the idea that the beat caused sinful behavior was bunk, broke from the church elders and decided to embrace rock music and even use it to evangelize the kids and teens who ate that music up like candy. Eventually the Christian music movement embraced the more heavier styles and Christian metal came to being. This week's HMMVM will focus on the Christian bands who's music you will find, matches and even rivals their heathen counterparts.


So keep your leather, chains, and spikes on, put down the upside down crosses, grab your bibles and headbang for the Lord!


Ayenna-Spiritual Home

Narnia-I Still Believe

Stryper-The Valley

Mortification-Terminate Damnation

Shout-Give Me An Answer

Saint-We Will Fight

Golden Resurrection-Identity In Christ

Ransom-Lasting Love

Michael Sweet-Son Of Man

Rob Rock-Savior's Call

Deliverance-Weapons Of Our Warfare

Barren Cross-Imaginary Music

Ultimatum-Heart Of Metal

Theocracy-Hide In The Fairytale

Even if you don't care for or believe their message, unless you are tone deaf and don't know good metal when you hear it, you must admit these guys. Until I decide to do this again, keep it metal!

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I was away from these for a while but I'm coming back. To save time, I am not only dropping my gimmick using King James English but I'm not intro-ing the bands. If you want information on these bands, you can look it up yourselves. In honor of Valentines Day, or for people like me, National Lonely and Alone Reminder Day. However, I'm not a bitter, angry kind of perpetual single guy who claims love doesn't exist or that he hates those who have found love (though I am quite jealous ;)). So here is a Valentine's Day setlist of metal music videos, enjoy!


As a bonus and to end this with a message of hope, I have two more songs. They aren't music videos (all audio) but they are necessary for my message. For those like me, don't despair for there is someone for everyone. The writer of the next song wrote this after an epiphany. His father always told him that there was someone for everyone. He never really understood it until one day he witnessed a couple who were obviously, madly in love. This couple were in no way shape or form attractive (IOW, ugly) but they were able to find one another. He realized his dad's words were oh, so true.

So don't ever lose hope because while love eludes you now, if you keep the faith, true love awaits you.

Next week I will take you all to church. Until then, metal on!

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For this journal, I'm dropping the olde English metal warrior character to bring some news I'm excited to tell you about. Years ago I created an MLP fanfic called Heart Of A Dragon which, while not read by many and talked about by even fewer, was one of my personal triumphs. It was my magnum opus and I worked very hard on it. However, after season 5, my made up lore was dashed to pieces and my plans to make my fanfic visible for more people didn't feel worth it. Since then, I've been trying to come up with another story.


I thought about a Trixie backstory told from her perspective but couldn't really figure out how it would unfold. Then I had a story about Trixie finding out she was a long lost Princess, again couldn't figure out how it would go. I then had an idea for an origin story of the Elements of Harmony. In this one there was two forces at the beginning of time, Spirits Of Harmony and Spirits Of Disharmony. Discord would have been one of the latter. Then the comics introduced a cousin of Discord and later another cosmic being that was a lover of Discord. Now, I know the comics aren't really canon, but I like to honor the stories as if they are (at least loosely) so this one was at a dead end as well.


With the end of the show, there is no more lore to hinder my story. Sure the comics will be unofficial next seasons, but the humorous and non-serious nature of them assures me there is nothing they will come up with that would hurt anything I come up with. With that I finally have my next fanfic ready to be pieced together. I have a beginning and and end, I just need to figure out how I'm going to fill it out. Right now, as an Amazon delivery driver, I'm very busy with the Holiday season and I won't be starting anything until after the new year. Now, there is a chance I won't have a way to flesh it out so I won't guarantee that I won't abandon it, but I'm fairly confident I will bring it to fruition. I will leave with a teaser of my story with a short synopsis:


It's been twenty years since the Kingdom of Equestria was passed on to Princess Twilight Sparkle by the princess sisters Celestia and Luna. Equestria and it's surrounding lands have enjoyed a peace and prosperity the likes of which it has never known. Knowing the kingdom is in good hooves, the sisters have retired to a mirror universe and Twilight has settled nicely into her new role as protector of the realm. However, an ancient evil has been awoken, an evil older than time itself that threatens to put an end to this time of peace and shroud the entire world in darkness. Will Twilight and her friends be able to answer this challenge or will it be too much for even them to overcome?

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Salutations thy fellow DA members! Hast been a while since I have madeth one of these. Going forward I shall doeth these on a fortnight basis (every two weeks). This time is the wacky edition of MMMVM. Videos of the strange, weird, and so stupid it beith funny! I doth not use my way of speech consistently on these so going forth I shall only speaketh this way for the intro and the outro (in other words, first paragraph and last paragraph will be in character while the rest will be Out Of Character or OOC).


Ok, let us start out with one of the most underrated metal artists, Devin Townsend. Beginning with his extreme metal Strapping Young Lad, Devin has morphed into one of the most competent and accomplished musicians in all of metal. And talk about wacky? This is the guy, who for most of his career used to sport a crazy skullet (bald mullet). This song is from his crazy rock opera about an alien named Ziltoid. This is from the point where an evil space queen send her many children called Poozers to attack earth. March Of The Poozers!!!!

Lets move on to the deep south with Heavy Metal legends Jackyl. Jessie James Dupree and his cohorts have been bringing AC/DC inspired southern hard rock since 1992. JJD is another wacky character. Apart from an interesting choice of a musical instrument (more in a second), this guy wrote a song about a woman in love with his tallywacker. Well his interesting choice of a musical instrument comes in the form of a chainsaw. He introduced this to the world in the debut music video for the first single of the self-titled album. Jessie James Dupree is a lumberjack baby!!!

Our next band is not exactly metal in the strictest sense but metal infused alternative music. Les Claypool and Primus do have a strong tie to metal. Les and his guitarist Larry LaLonde were both in a thrash band called Blind Illusion and LaLonde was a founding member of early death metal band The Possessed. The infamous Les Claypool and his band Primus is the strictest sense of wacky, any video they've done could be included. However, one of my earliest memories of Primus was for the music video of the debut single off of Pork Soda, My Name Is Mud!

We now go to a band I've introduced before, Suicidal Tendencies. Before becoming a thrash legend, Mik Muir's band was a crossover punk band and there was music video that took MTV by storm. Later on they "metalized" a lot of their old songs and with it made a new video for said song. You will see a lot of well known character actors in this, particularly a pre weight loss Bobcat Goldthwait. So sit back, play a game of chess with Barney, drink a Pepsi and enjoy being Institutionalized!

Sticking with MIke Muir we will go to his other band, Infectious Grooves. Along for the ride is Suicidal bassist and current Metallica bassist, Robert Trujillo. BTW, after listening you will see why I always say Trujillo is wasted in Metallica. It's time to visit the Groove Family Cyco (name of the album) and get Violent And Funky!!!

Another band that isn't metal but metal infused Alternative is one of my favorite bands from my ealy love of hard rock/metal. This would be Faith No More. You want to talk about wacky, their videos are so weird and insane, they are works of art! Guitarist Billy Martin just looked out there and the antics of vocalist Mike Patton are legendary. The man poured a bottle of piss thrown to him by a fan on himself at a concert for crying out loud. Though they would loose their metal edge when guitarist Billy Martin left, his time with the band will always be a favorite of mine. From their critically acclaimed 1989 album The Real Thing, here are the boys of Faith No More Falling To Pieces!!!

Lets go to a band not known for anything wacky or even silly, the legendary Iron Maiden. While the album this song is from is considered by many to be one of the weakest Maiden albums ever (not me, I love it), this song shows a rare fun side to the legendary Brits. From No Prayer For The Dying, here's Maiden blowing Holy Smoke!

Lets leap back into the modern era with a band that started out as your typical Gothenburg melodic death metal band (In Flames, At The Gates, Children Of Bodom) but morphed into their own brand of modern metal, Soilwork. From their second album to deviate from their roots, Figure Number Five, here is a music video that seems as it was created after an acid trip. If you get too cold, better Light The Torch!!!

I can't remember if I introduced this next band on these MMMVM journals, but even if not, they really don't need an introduction. Known as one of the "Big Four" of thrash with Metallica, Megadeth, and Slayer, Anthrax have been tearing it up in one form or another for four decades. Though known for their good natured side, it has rarely been prominent in their music videos more than it was in this one. From their critically acclaimed 1984 album, Spreading The Disease (or STD for short-yeah, obviously a band with a sense of humor), in their world, it's quite a Madhouse!!!

In the late 80s and early 90s, there were many bands who were amazing and garnered a lot of attention for an album or two but fell out of favor when Grunge and Alternative started to drown them out. One of these are a perennial favorite of mine from my early years of heavy metal, Ugly Kid Joe. They had quite the exposure on MTV with their sophomore album, America's Least Wanted. They had three music videos that were all over that channel. The most famous of these was for the cover of Cats In The Cradle, but that is not wacky and was way too overplayed. Ugly Kid Joe shinned when their sense of humor took center stage. This is showcased very well in the music video for my favorite song of theirs. I can't stand you, I can't b e around you; just let me be frank, I hate Everything About You!!!!

I've saved the best two for last. First is one from my early years. With minimal musical talent and strange and wacky paper mache costumes, Green Jello were a novelty act of the highest order. However, this produced one of the greatest one hit wonders from their sophomore album funnily titled, Cereal Killer. The music video is cheesy claymation goodness. Just sit back and hear a tale. A tale about Three... Little... Pigs and a big... bad...wolf!!! BTW, Kraft Foods who owns Jello sued them changing the name to Green Jelly

We end with one of the goofiest music videos I've ever seen in my life. A band that has been prominent in these journals is the kings of pirate metal, Alestorm. All of their videos are wacky and crazy, but they went all out with this one. I even heard that they have promised a lifetime supply of ham if you can find a video sillier than this. Apart from Weird Al videos, there is no way I think you can top this. From the album Sunset On The Golden Age, set sails for Magnetic North!!!

As you could telleth, metal can be just as weird, strange, and wacky as it can be serious, dark, and philosophical. I hopeth thy funny bones hath been tickled or if at the least, your WTF faces are etched on to your skulls semi-permanently. We hath another fortnight until we meeteth again, I hopeth all of you enjoyed these and I shall seeth thee next time!!!

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